When the temperature reaches 100 degrees for weeks on end there only one thing a sensible person can do: Bake Some Cookies!
I love cookies. I love to eat them and I love to make them. But being an environmentally sensitive new age democrat, I know it’s irresponsible to run an oven while air-conditioning your house. It’s also a pain in the butt and hard to keep the house cool with the oven on, but I’m going with the environmentally sensitive angle here.
My wife and I were watching the TV news when there was one of those hilarious stories about how freakin’ hot it is. I don’t think this qualifies as news since everybody watching is sweating like a WWF wrestler. For a little change of pace, the reporter decides to bake cookies on the sidewalk. I guess this was his contribution to innovation since cooking eggs on the sidewalk is so 1999.
My wife and I looked at each other and declared that he was an incompetent goofball. He obviously hadn’t researched his story to any great extent. Why would you bake cookies on the sidewalk? That’s just ridiculous. Any sane person knows the place to bake your cookies is on the dashboard of your vehicle. Sidewalk cookies can be stepped on and insects, vermin, and roaming wildlife have tendency to defaecate on them. We like oatmeal cookies not dog poop cockroach cookies. We were so incensed at his trivializing the cookie story that we were about to compose a strongly worded letter to the news station. We planned on pointing out their shortcomings when we remembered their restraining order and decided against the letter.
We suddenly realized the worst of the summer was almost over and we hadn’t ourselves baked our traditional batches of dashboard cookies!
So here is my contribution to your summer fun and family together time. Get together with your loved ones and whip up a batch of Dashboard Cookies and enjoy with my best wishes!